Songs That inspires me - baby i was born this way!

well, gue emang bukan fans beratnya lady Gaga. tapi gue fansnya lah.. dan beberapa dari lagunya gue suka. she's talented, both in singing and song writing. lagunya yang "Born This Way" bener2 jadi personal inspiration buat gue.

apa lg pas lirik terakhir2 tuh:

Don't be drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby, you were Born This Way

No matter gay, straight or bi
Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave

seriously it's awesome!

dan itu membuat gue sadar, kalo kita tuh emang diciptakan begini, live with it. jangan diubah2 lagi

(i know, i know gaga was being hipocritic about this, but what she meant is your attitude)

oh well, whether it is your attitude, your looks, your weight, your thinking, don't be a drag just be queen. cuz you are born to be this way, live with it, embrace it, be proud of it! :)

one day i'll regret posting this

YESTERDAY (considering it's 1.52 a.m. when i post this) WAS THE UTTER MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF MY LIFE! My F---in' sad life. i didn't think rationally, as i should, and i just blurted out that i have a bf to my dad (sad, really sad.). he was starting to ask where he lives, where does (or in my case, did) go to school, why didn't I tell him about it sooner, why didn't he have the courage to go to my house (which is by car about 1 hour from his house, and by motorcycle around 2 hours), and how my dad thinks it's the consequences of taking me out, and then who's his family, what's his beliefs.

Beliefs. that's why i don't want my dad to know.

i told my dad that he doesn't have the same religious belief as we do. and my dad started to exhale vigorously and his face went red and all, i swear i was going to cry and probably beg for my relationship. but he just said, "it's ok but you can't take his beliefs."

Period.

that's it?

NO

tomorrow they'll meet, and i can't sleep because i'm too scared. my dad won't go easy on him, oh he'll give my bf a glance of torture in hell -_-

maybe i need to relax, you might say. I NEED TO RELAX. I can't relax. it's like having two dogs who one is hating the other and the other one is too afraid to do anything if this one tore his head off. WORST you love both of them!

oh if only God softened my father's rock-hard heart o:(

first post of 2011

yes, this is in fact, my first post at 2011, i think. well, a lot has happened last year, and i can't just tell you guys all. maybe the important stuffs and the stuffs i'd like to share with you guys....sort off... haha :p

pertama, gue keterima di untar. hem. sad? nope. malah bagus daripada ga keterima sama sekali (oops). second, gue punya temen-temen baru macam yang namanya laras, bonita, linda, andri, berry, dsb. third, i am not single.

yes, i am not single anymore

what? don't expect me to be single forever! i'm bound to find someone in the end!

dia bukan orang asing, bukan orang yg baru kenal. in fact it's someone who had hurt me so bad till i swore i won't even like him, until karma hit me. entah kekuatan apa yang bikin dia tiba-tiba minta maaf dan akhirnya kita jadi deket lagi... haha. dengan pedekate (well ga bisa dibilang pedekate juga sih) 2 bulan, akhirnya on christmas' eve he asked me to be his girlfriend again... it was nice, considering we didn't have real dates at first, only chatting. maybe that's why we split up. not much body contacts, little conversation and all.

kita uda jalan 2 bulan, hampir 3 loh hahaha :) i like him more now, than the last time. dan seenggaknya sekarang kita udah sama-sama lebih dewasa, lebih pengertian, dan lebih sayang... for now at least. i do hope this would end as a happy ending. bukan mau bikin dia tekanan batin, kalo gue sih merasanya kita bakal lebih lama at least dr dulu yang cuma 9 bulan. sad, how sad.

anyway, sekarang gue uda semester 2. bahkan uda mau uts X(. nooo uts is evil! mudah-mudahan sih dpt 3.5 lah, nambah 0.5 poin dr semester lalu hahaha. apalagi dosen kepri gue adalah Dr. Monty P. Satiadarma, MS/AT, MCP/MFCC, DCH, Psi. (diliat dari gelarnya aja serem ye hahaha byk bener, and his only in his 50s *applause*). kalo gasalah sih gelarnya itu kalo ga disingkat jadi "doktor monty p. satiadarma master of art therapies, master of children and parenting, master of family and children counseling, diploma in clinical hypnotherapy, psikolog."*mati lo*

so much i wanna say so little time :( oh today is the second day he's working and he's going to my house yeaay :D

quickie

gue lagi di dante

gue lagi di smoking room

gue lagi sama orang yang (dulu) gue benci banget

gue lagi wawancara

dan gue pusing sendiri karena pipi gue gatel grrr

*thanks goji karena pelembab lo bikin pipi gue bengkak sebelah -_-*






minggu depan gue UAS. oh tidak -_- dan gue madol KWN *PLAK*

apologetic face that look like apollo 1

elloow :D

i haven't blogged so much, haven't i? well sebenernya bukan karena malas sih, justru banyak banget yang mau ditulis... somehow, internet tidak pernah bersahabat, sekalinya bersahabat pasti langsung dipake tante2 gue.. oh well have a nice day everyone!

i am thinking of you

Comparisons are easy, when you had a taste of pure perfection that anyone would ever dream of. I haven't taste it, but I had a glimpse of how it would..

It wasn't love at first sight. Wasn't love at first conversation. Wasn't love at first everything.

When I know you better, you're like a hard candy with a surprise centre. No one would know you if they don't want to. Well, I do want to know. I was surprised, we were more alike than I know.

It's easy to talk to you, it's like talking to myself. Yes, we do have something not so common, but hey, we didn't care, did we?

But now I know I won't get any closer, I will be just another friend. The way your eyes look when you think of her, it was like looking at mine, when I'm thinking of you..

Is it possible to get better when I've had the best? When you read this, I bet you'd tell me to move on, but where do I go? You're gonna say there's tons of fish in the water, but they're second-best for me. That's what I'm sure of..

You're the best, and I do regret. Why did I let you go so easily..? How I wish you would bust those doors between us and take me away... Because I only want to stay in your mind...

A wish that won't come true...





(Based on Thinking of you - Katy Perry)

do you know?

Dear dearest you,

Do you know? That I love you in so many way....
I love you as a friend, as a comrade, as a colleague, as a brother....
And now, I just don't know to love you as a what... -_-

But now I know, thanks to you, my friends, and others that helped me to realize..

That you'll always be "all of the above"... :)